Sometimes, when we end a relationship, we find it hard not to call back or visit our ex-partner, especially during these dates, where memories and nostalgia lurk.
Not talking to our ex again means going our way without knowing how he feels or if he misses us or still wants us.
We look for any pretext to contact him or her: "It's that he kept my favorite book," "she has my USB cable," "I kept his sweatshirt," there can be thousands of pretexts. We even get compassionate and want to know how that person will spend Christmas in a pandemic.
However, Coral Herrera gives us ten reasons for not contacting our ex again.
1. You don't need to prove if your ex still loves you or wants you.
Love does not die but is transformed, and any painful process takes time. Don't break the process that both of you both need to be able to separate.
2. You don't need to be right.
Your ego always wants to win the last battle, and it wants to have one "last" conversation so that he asks for forgiveness or be sorry or sad. It is not worth it: you will most likely have the same battle as last time.
3. You don't need to visit him to feel important.
Of course, you are essential. You are his ex. But you have to accept that your ex is getting back to owing his life. And you have to accept with joy that you are doing the same.
4. Don't keep believing that something magical could happen.
Don't get hooked on the idea that if you see each other again, something magical will happen, and you will realize how much you love each other. That only happens in movies.
5. It is not kind of not letting him forget you.
If your ex can't forget you, be firm: it's best to maintain zero contact so your ex can distance themselves and let go.
6. You won't find out after seeing him that you don't care anymore.
Don't deceive yourself with the excuse that you need to see your ex to verify that they are no longer important to you. It is, and that is why it is best to have zero contact.
7. Don't think that if you don't go now, you will never see him again.
If having zero contact has been agreed upon, be respectful, and don't break it. Perhaps you will be able to contact again when enough time has passed to heal the wounds and rebuild your lives, with or without a new partner.
8. Don't make the excuse that you want to know how he is.
Don't break the zero contact agreement with the excuse that you've dreamed of your ex and want to know if he's okay. Of course, that's fine; if not, you would have found out right away.
9. You don't need another conversation to close the relationship.
You don't have to have the last conversation to close the story one more time: if you want to close, you can do it inside yourself, celebrating a little goodbye ritual forever. The closure is always with yourself, inside you.
10. You don't need to connect with your ex: actually, who you need to connect with is yourself.
Traducción: Valentina K. Yanes