Christmas dinner is coming soon, a date where families get together to enjoy food and have a good time. Although this year may not be the same for everyone due to the distance that covid-19 care requires. Many feminists will face criticism and comments from conservative and macho family members for another year.
Being a feminist who resists in family gatherings is not easy. That''s why Jazmín Hernández, a feminist lawyer, wrote for the website Jacarandas en el Asfalto an article titled "How to survive family and friends as a feminist."
In the weekly podcast of La Cadera de Eva, Jasmin said that the primary motivation for writing the article, "How to survive Christmas dinner if you are a feminist?" was to meet young women who consider themselves feminists and are always in awkward situations with their family and friends.
Be informed
"Pronouncing ourselves a feminist can have a strong impact both on the family and on oneself," affirms the lawyer. Possible doubts generated on our relative''s side can turn questions into a challenge or confrontation towards feminists.
Ya están cerca las cenas navideñas y probablemente tendrás que convivir con la tía preguntona, el tío machito o el primo...
Publicado por La Cadera de Eva en Jueves, 17 de diciembre de 2020
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Therefore, one of the first tips that Jasmine provides is to be informed:
"Begin to inform you of the problems we are experiencing, to read data, and investigate. That is very important because it will help you know what to answer".
Between the nervousness, fear, and anger generated by being confronted by our position, sometimes the message we want to give is lost from sight. Being informed about feminism and the issues around it can provide security when arguing.
"You have to be very assertive to know who you can talk to. Discerning who will not agree with you, but knowing it can be an enriching dialogue," says Jazmín.
Choosing our battles is another vital part, knowing where you can provide another perspective, knowing who
They will listen to our arguments and know where not to waste our energy.
"If you can't talk outright, it's better to say: well, I have this position, I support that for these reasons and if you don't agree, then, up to there, because it's no use."
A classic: When will you have children? And the boyfriend, darling?
A classic of classics is the aunt who asks you about the boyfriend or motherhood. They assume that because you are a woman, those are the destinations assigned to you. Regarding this, Jasmine recommends taking it easy and giving simple answers like "Right now, I''m not interested in having children." Knowing that there are people to whom we do not have to explain our personal life.
"It's like taking it easy, cutting off the conversation and breathing, knowing that there are some things that will not get us anywhere."
Remember that your friends are also your family
We have been taught that the blood family is the most important thing. It is appropriate to deconstruct our thinking about family ties and remember that our feminist friends support us and are also the family that we choose:
"I would highly advise you to lower your guard a little in this idea that we have that we are our worst enemies. Having a support network of women is very incredible, generating important ties. It is not your blood family but also the family".
The final recommendations of Jazmín Hernández were:
Go with a positive thought.
Take care of yourself and reappropriate physical and virtual spaces.
Not forget to be gentle with ourselves.
Traducción: Valentina K. Yanes