Jealousy is one of the most common conflicts in love relationships. All of us have felt them on occasion, but that does not mean that they are correct or synonymous with love.
"I'm jealous of you because I love you" is one of the most common, learned, and reproduced myths. As Coral Herrera, an expert in the sociocultural construction of romantic love, explains that love centered on monogamy and ownership of the other provokes a series of violent attitudes, including jealousy.
So no, jealousy does not mean that that person is the love of your life, be careful not to believe that. Therefore, here are some tips to overcome that jealousy that could take your relationship and yourself to a destructive point.
1. Recognize that it is a problem
If you are reading this text, it means that you have already taken the first step: recognizing that there is a jealousy problem in you. Continually checking your partner's social networks? Does it upset you not to know the messages that are on your cell phone? Does it bother you not knowing where it is? These are all signs of jealousy management problems, which strongly affects both parties in the relationship.
2. Confidence in yourself
According to the website of the R&A Psychologists Center for Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, jealousy is the product of emotional insecurity and low self-esteem, which often leads to a deep fear of abandonment and a great fear of not being enough for the other person.
You should trust yourself and know that even when you are rejected, it is not always your fault. You don't need to be enough for anyone but yourself.
3. Focus on you
A fundamental part of raising your self-esteem is knowing yourself and loving yourself. Before dedicating yourself to someone else and wanting to be enough for someone else, you must be enough for yourself.
On the other hand, if you spend time on the things you love to do, you will have less time to think about your jealousy and insecurities. Concentrate on fulfilling your dreams and personal projects; Don't let thinking about jealousy deprive you of living happily.
4. Trust that you can face eventual and real abandonment
As in everything, you have to be realistic: many people enter your life every week, and many people likely leave your life over time. Many times the fear of being abandoned or cheated on causes unhealthy jealousy.
Simply put, jealousy is a way of expressing fear. It is good to be aware that we can face real situations of abandonment, which can be overcome, despite how difficult it may be.
5. Do not look to make him jealous
Don't fall into the game of trying to make your partner jealous; That can further aggravate the situation, damage feelings, and increase distrust of the relationship. This attitude will not solve anything; instead, you can talk to your partner about your insecurities and find a way to solve the problem.
Jealousy is a vicious cycle that will keep you on the defensive all the time. It can wear down the relationship and cause emotional damage to both parties in the relationship. These tips are just one way to get off to a good start towards overcoming jealousy; However, psychological help is always a good option, which will help you increase your self-esteem and reduce insecurities.
Traducción: Valentina K. Yanes