Have you ever wondered why you reject your partner or the person when he wants to perform oral sex on you?
The reason goes beyond believing that you don''t like it. The rejection of oral sex is related to an idea created by our vagina and clitoris, and pornography has not helped.
Mariona Busto, sexologist, explains that the message imparted to women is that the female genitalia smells bad, and that is not "pretty"; This issue is not talked about, nor do we socialize it with others who may be experiencing the same thing. The idea embedded in our minds, where pornography''s visual culture has laid a toll on us to reject us. They give us a child-like image or a pubis without hairs. If your vagina does not smell like flowers and is not well shaved, you do not believe yourself deserving of receiving delicious cunnilingus (oral sex). The social burden created on our clitoris, the sexual organ made only to gain pleasure, keeps us from exploring part of our sexuality with this practice.
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The social construction that women are objects of pleasure where we are passive and not active also makes us reject it. "We behave as if they are doing us a favor, although they love to eat our cunts as much as we give them pleasure," writes in her book Your sex, Sylvia de Béjar, sexologist.
We are sorry that they have to "put their face in there," our minds begin to question "if he is bored?", "If he does not like it?" "If it takes me long to cum?" "If I didn''t shave well? "says Béjar. All these questions are related to a hetero-patriarchal culture that has made us reject our bodies.
Read: Not only pleasure, the unknown functions of the female orgasm
How to learn to enjoy oral sex?
Since we are aware of all this mental burden on our sexuality: what can we do to take it off and enjoy oral sex?
-First, you must accept yourself as you are.
-If you want to shave, but do it, but for you.
-Create a relationship of trust with your partner.
-Create an environment that gives you security and increases your eroticism, such as playing music, a low light.
-At that moment, stop thinking and enjoy it.
-Say what you want, and if you''re going to moan, do it.
Traducción. Valentina K. Yanes