Those who know (psychologists) say that breaking up while still loving the other person is like living a funeral. Grief is an internal process that occurs in the face of the loss of an emotional relationship of any kind. After this pain, can we keep in touch with whom use to be our couple?.
Before giving you the pros and cons, we remind you that "eternal love" is a social construction of romantic love, which we have spoken in some occasions in this platform. Love is not forever, nor couples. It''s only part of life and focuses on strengthening other friendships or aspects of your life, as recommended by the feminist Coral Herrera.
The Guardian newspaper published six stories of ex-partners who became best friends. "I lost a marriage, but I won a best friend," says one of them. The couple interviewed was married for ten years, but their 12-year-old son is the one who has kept them together. The separation allowed them to continue an adult and independent life where they support each other.
Psychologist Diana Romero in conversation with the Fuchsia portal, says that friendship after a separation "is possible, but not in all cases." When contact with the former partner persists, its because there are joint commitments such as children, business or property, the best way to cope with it is by being friends.
The reasons, regardless of commitments, so the former couples decide to be friends, according to the American Psychological Association (APA) are:
-Security: An agreement to keep in touch with the previous couple because they do not want to lose the emotional support that he or she has provided, as well as advice and trust.
-Practicality: There may be economical, labor, or business reasons to remain friends.
-Courtesy: Do not want to damage the feelings of the other; this happens when one seeks to return. However, psychologist Romero recommends not keeping in touch.
- There are still feelings for the other: If the decision for separating was because, in some aspects as a couple, they did not work. It is feasible that they can have a friendship, as long as limits are established, Romero points out.
(María José Pardo)